Our crushed World.

Dollaphant 5 years ago

1 reply

Hi there,

My name is Helen from South Wales, I am 48 years old and my husband (who I have been with since I was 16 years old) has just been diagnosed with Terminal Pancreatic Cancer this week.

He has been in and out of Hospital the past year with acute Pancreatitis and had recently came home after a 4 month stay which he's had to endure a Stomach bypass, Gall and Lymph nodes removal as well as being on life support for many days only to be given this soul destroying news that the biopsy taken is indeed Cancer and we were told today that he only has 'Just Months' with Chemo as a treatment in the hope of keeping it at bay until his next scan in a months time.

I am very diligent with all the organisation that goes into the treatment and his care plan, needs, signs to look out for, etc but where on Earth am I to go to from here with all these thoughts, concerns, fears and Heartache?...We have 2 amazing adult daughters (26,who have recently given us our first Grandchild and the other who celebrated her 21st birthday just this week) How as a mam do you cope with all this in order to help them???

Much Love,

Helen.xxx

Bonnie 5 years ago

Hello Helen,

Welcome to our online community. We’re sorry to read about your husband’s recent diagnosis, and all that you’re going through as a family.

It is normal to be questioning where to go with all that you’re experiencing. Supporting a loved one with a terminal illness and family members at the same time can evoke many powerful thoughts, concerns and fears as you have described. Sharing how you are feeling, as you are doing here on the community can be an important way of helping yourself cope during this difficult time and can be a positive step to take. Hopefully other members of the community will reach out and share their experiences with you too. Whilst we are here to offer support through our community, we are also here to offer a listening ear on our Support Line if you feel that this may be beneficial you can reach out to us on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or you can contact us through our online chat function here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line/using-online-chat .

It can be difficult to know what to do when you are told a loved one has a terminal illness, as everyone reacts and responds to this news differently. We feature some information on our website about coping with feelings that you may find helpful to take a look at here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/diagnosed/coping-with-feelings/coping .

If you haven’t done so already, you may wish to speak to your GP. Often GP surgeries will be aware of counselling services that they may be able to refer you to. The GP may also be aware of local support services that may be of benefit to you and your family.

We are also aware of an organisation called Pancreatic Cancer UK, who run support groups for anyone affected by pancreatic cancer, including their family members. You can read more about how they may be able to support you and your family and search for local groups here: https://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/information-and-support/support-for-you/support-groups/ .

We hope that this information will be of use to you. Please feel free to continue posting here on the community and to share your thoughts and feelings with us and others.

Take care,

Bonnie – Marie Curie Support Line Team