New member

Yorvic 9 years ago

5 replies

Hello to everyone

I have joined the Community as I have a daughter who has secondary breast cancer and as a family we are now having to face losing her.  

Not sure what else to say really.

MarkWilkin 9 years ago

Hi Yorvic, it's ok we're here for whatever you need, either to talk through some stuff that you're going through with people who know what it's like or to try and answer questions you've got. It's not a bother.

Also you might find some of our online help for families useful and if you need to talk to anyone directly our support line is on 0800 090 2309 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm).

foxy1971 9 years ago

Hi,

I have just joined up as I'm assisting in the care of my dad who has primary lung cancer and secondary bone cancer. I have lost who I am and all of my routine. I just work, visit dad who is now at home after work, then go home shower and sleep. We lost my mom to cancer also 19 years ago so cancer has played a prolific part in my life. I hate it ! It has been a long struggle for the last 7 weeks since he was admitted to hospital for information and now home, trying to get the correct level of care. He is currently under the care/assessment of the Pathway 1 care team to see what long-term care is required but we have doubts the level of care he will get from Social Services will be enough. He is struggling with his new routine and get's upset when the late night carers arrive at 8pm to put him to bed as who wants to go to bed at 8pm ? I feel for him soo much but can't stay til late (10pm'ish) to see him up the stairs safely as he has just had a hip and femur replacement so he is weak on his feet to say the least. We know he only has around 6 months but can't tell him and I feel really guilty I can't give him more time but I'm spent already physically and emotionally. Just thought I'd say hi anyway. Sorry for rambling on, I live on my own so when home, all I do is overthink everything. Hi :-)

MarkWilkin 9 years ago

Edited by MarkWilkin 9 years ago

Hello Foxy that sounds absolutely exhausting, it's no wonder you're feeling the strain having to shoulder all of that by yourself.

There's a few things which I hope will help. Firstly I'd recommend that you have a read of our guide Being there for someone with a terminal illness especially the parts about looking after your own needs. As you need to look after yourself so you're able to be there for your dad.

Part of that is making sure you've got your own support network, either friends or people like your local carers support group, you can search for local services like that here on the Carers Trust directory. Staying in touch with your local GP is also a good idea as they can offer you direct support and point you towards places local to you that can help as well.  

Our helper service might also be able to help either you or your father for a few hours each week if you're in one the areas they cover. This page describes what they can do to help.

You can also give our support line a ring on 0800 090 2309, it's open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm, if you need to talk to someone. They can offer information and emotional support if you need it.

And don't worry you're not rambling on, talking about this kind of thing is just what the community is here for. 

Thanks

Bebop 9 years ago

It's two weeks since my husband died and I feel Frightened lost I want him back I have been with my husband since I was 18years old altogether 49 years we were joined at the hip we have two sons who mean the world to us  every time I wake it all starts the grief is consuming I don't know how to live with out my man  it is so painful but I will live on for my sons and grandchildren  but the pain in my heart is making me so weak oh god help me  

Tiny 8 years ago

Dear bebop

My heart goes out to you. This imay sound patronising,but it helps 

When you are ready,u need to get out there and meet people.

Life won't be the same,but it will be a life.

Thinking of you

     Tiny.