Mum has gone, Dad stage 4 lung cancer

Tootsieone 1 month ago

2 replies

My mum passed away 11/9/2025, 4 weeks prior to her passing from secondary breast cancer my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Mum had been in hospital and she wanted home so a care package was organised and home she came only to have 9 final days at home, of which the last 2 days she was unaware of anything. My Dad is heartbroken after 55 years of marriage. With his cancer diagnosis I feel he will follow her soon as he's not fit for any treatment, how do I help him deal with the lose of Mum and try to make the best of the time he has left.

Daffodil 1 month ago

Dear Tootsieone,



we are so sorry to hear about your and your dad’s loss. It must be very hard to see your dad heartbroken while having been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It sounds like you want to do everything to help him. This is a complex situation of cancer, loss, grief, and caring, and your being there for your dad and thinking about this question in itself is a helpful step for you both.

I am not sure whether you have seen the information about grief on the Marie Curie website yet? There is also information about caring for someone that you may find useful as a starting point. You can access these resources via www.mariecurie.org.uk.


You will also find information about the Marie Curie helpline which you can contact by phone or online if you would like to talk to someone. It can be a good starting point for exploring, for example, Marie Curie bereavement services but also be a port of call for specific questions. The telephone helpline (0800 090 2309) is open 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday, and 10am to 4pm Saturday to Sunday.


We also hope that other readers in this forum will feel comfortable to share their experiences with you. You are not alone in this situation. Please feel free to write again here, too.



With all best wishes,



💛 Anke, a Member of the Marie Curie Online Support Team

Yvonne1 1 month ago

Hello Tootsieone

May I also offer my sincere condolences on the very sad loss of your dear Mum so very recently.  In addition to trying to cope with your own grief, you are also having to support your Dad in dealing with the loss of his life partner of 55 years and his diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer.  This is a lot for you to deal with and be assured there are Organisati ons out there that can help you through this difficult time.

The various resources that Marie Curie can offer you may be a starting point, and can be contacted on the details provided in the above response from Anke.  I am also a volunteer member of the Bereavement Support Team based in our local Hospice, and believe sharing your thoughts and emotions may offer you some comfort, and advice on other Health Professionals that may be able help on a practical basis.  You don`t mention what, if any, treatment your Dad is getting, but I trust you are both being made aware of what can be made available to put a plan in place.

Please feel free to contact this forum at any time if we can be of help at all.  

Kindest regards