Metastatic Melanoma

ashtrees40 6 years ago

1 reply

In 2016 my husband of 50 years had a melanoma removed from his back and we thought that was the end of that. Not so, this metastasised and has spread to the brain, lungs, liver and spleen. The brain being the worst hit. The oncologist has said there is no treatment, palliative care only. The most shocking thing for me is how quickly this has progressed. 4 weeks ago he was talking relative normally and moving around, now he can’t speak and is totally bedridden. I feel like I have already lost my husband but can’t grieve yet. I have been told it won’t be long now and my heart breaks a bit more each day watching him die by inches. Thankfully he still seems to know me and likes to hold my hand. Marie Curie have been wonderful as have St Barnabas who are looking after him at home which is where he wanted to be.

Support 6 years ago

Hi ashtrees40

I am sorry to read about your husband’s condition, and how quickly this has progressed.

Seeing a loved one’s health deteriorating can be difficult, and bring with it many different emotions. Many people tell us how overwhelming this can feel, and that like you, they feel they have already lost their loved one. It can be natural for us to experience emotions relating to grief such as loss and sadness, during a loved one’s illness.

It sounds as though holding hands is bringing you both some comfort. Although your husband is no longer able to speak, he may still be able to hear what’s going on, so gently talking to him, or playing music he enjoys may also be comforting for you both.

It is good to hear that you feel so very supported by both ourselves and St Barnabas, and that your husband is where he wanted to be. Our Support Line is also available if you need any emotional support and a listening ear on 0800 090 2309, or contact us via Web Chat: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help

Best Wishes

Nikki

Marie Curie Support Line