My brother passed away age 29 on the 16th December! We only found out 2 days before he died that he had cancer which had spread aggressively around his body! I’m struggling to get my head around it and angry that there’s nothing I can do.
We’re sorry to read about the recent loss of your brother and how quickly this all happened for you.
Experiencing the loss of a loved one within a very short space of time can be such a shock, and it can be common during the early stages of grief to experience a sense of unreality as we try to understand and process all that has happened.
Grieving for a loved one is a very individual process and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Challenging emotions such as anger during bereavement can be common and difficult to experience, although it can be natural to feel angry at losing someone you really care about. We feature information on our website about grieving in your own way which you may like to read about here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/grieving-your-way
It’s understandable you express that you’re struggling to get your head around losing your brother. We don’t expect to lose a sibling at such a young age. We are aware of a booklet that a charity called The Compassionate Friends have created called ‘A sibling’s grief’. If you feel this may be beneficial to take a look at, you can view this here: https://www.tcf.org.uk/content/resources/L27-A-Siblings-Grief-for-young-Adults-C13R1404.pdf
People often tell us that talking can be a comfort, and a helpful experience when they have lost a loved one. Talking can help us to begin to process our emotions and try to understand how and why we feel what we do. While we aren’t trained counsellors on the Support Line, we are here to listen if you feel that talking about what has happened, or how you’re feeling would be beneficial. You can reach us by calling Freephone 0800 090 2309 or by responding to us through here.
We hope that others here on the community will share with you their experience of losing a loved one and offer their support to you too.
Sam – Support Line Team