Losing mum

Jules64 2 years ago

1 reply

I lost my dear dad in 2007, I learnt so much from him, I loved him dearly. He died with us by his side. I stayed strong to look after mum. We were so close, we had all holidays together, every weekend and every Wednesday, we laughed so much and worked tirelessly in the mums garden every weekend. I lost mum suddenly last year from a brain tumour, I nursed her at home for two weeks, she passed away with my brother and I holding her hand, she didn't know she was dying, she wasn't able to talk towards the end. Her last words to me was "can we go to Cornwall now" having returned from hospital to die at home. The last few days and how mum looked when she passed won't fade for me, I seem to be living it all again and again. Wakes me at night now, I think life just doesn't seem to be worth living without her, she was my world. All I do is work and sleep, life has no meaning anymore. I buy a few Christmas presents with mums money every year so it feels like they're from mum. Anyone out there in the same state as myself

David 2 years ago

Hi Jules64, welcome to the Marie Curie Community and we’re sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and dad. It sounds like they both played an important part in your life. Understandably, this grief has had a big impact given that your mum was your world and now those difficult memories of her final moments are recurring persistently.

Please feel free to tell us more about what’s happened and how you feel if it would help to do so. Perhaps others here on the Marie Curie Community can reflect on their loss and offer their own words of support to you as well?

You mentioned feeling as though life is not worth living without your mum. Losing such a special loved one can feel intensely emotional and it is important to seek help if you ever feel suicidal – this could mean speaking with your GP or contacting the Samaritans on 116 123. While many people do, in time, find ways of coping and learning to live with the loss of a close loved one, everyone needs help at difficult moment in their life and so it’s important to reach out if you feel overwhelmed.

If you want to speak with us on the Support Line, we also offer a listening ear and can share information about accessing things like bereavement counselling. We are on Freephone 0800 090 2309 and on webchat through the Marie Curie website.

Take care,

David - Support Line Officer