Is there support for my aunt? (just diagnosed, incurable)

emilyinglis 9 years ago

1 reply

Hi there all,

My aunt has just been told she has multiple cancers, including brain and skin and they're awaiting results form other organs as of now, but ultimately and overall, she's at stage 4 and there is nothing they can do.

Firstly, she was informed whilst alone in the hospital (keeping in mind that due to the brain mass she can barely communicate/comprehend information alot of the time and also suffers a mental illness) without myself or my mother there to be with her.

Luckily however, the first doctor to come round to inform her, she said - in so many words - was warm and compassionate whilst also being honest and constructive. Nothing short of what you'd hope for and I thank god for that man. 

However, later in the day she said another doctor came over and - in so many of her words - was practically vicious in his announcement that no matter what the others say that there is 'no time' and no other options. As you can imagine, this experience - let alone the diagnosis - has left her shaken and feeling more alone than ever, let alone confused.

My question is, considering my aunt sadly has had a notably hard life to others and has no one apart from myself, my mum and her own mother (who sadly has dementia and is disabled and therefore doesn't understand what's happening) - is there someone outside of myself and my mum who could sit down and have a chat with her? 

When we asked the ward sister if a counsellor would be talking to her (considering the ferocity of both the cancer and the diagnosis) - the ward sister said 'But she hasn't asked for one'. Considering my aunt can only speak some words, you'd think she wouldn't need to actively ask for support.

I'd really like to better understand our options and opportunities, so I can ensure - and no doubt fight - for everything she needs in the short time she has.

Thank you so much for any help / advice you can provide,

Emily 

Support 9 years ago

Hi Emilyinglis,

I am so sorry to read about your aunt, it must be a really difficult time for you and your family. Does anybody know what your Aunt’s final wishes are? Would she want to be cared for in her own home, a hospice or on a hospital ward? This can be a very difficult conversation to have, and may be complicated by her dementia but there are options out there.  Once you know what your aunt’s wishes are then it is possible to start having the appropriate conversations with the health care professionals and social services.

We have lots of information on the support that Marie Curie can provide on our site and you could always call us if you would like to discuss the options further on the support line 0800 090 2309(Monday –Friday 09:00-17:00pm)