Introduction from a new volunteer with family abroad

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Hello, my name is Anke and I am a Marie Curie online community volunteer.

I lost my father to a terminal illness in 2023 and am now here to support anyone caring for someone with a terminal illness as well as those who are bereaved. I hope to help others as much as I have benefitted from Marie Curie support in the past few years.

I live in the UK but my family are in other parts of the world, so I have experienced what it is like to deal with the different situations someone's end of life phase can throw at us from afar. If anyone reading this post would like to start a conversation on this topic, that could be useful for other readers.

What has helped you cope?
Where did you find support for your loved one?
Who was there for you?
What was a struggle?

I look forward to hearing anything you would like to share.

💛 Anke, a member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team

Ellie short for Eloise 3 days ago

Edited by Ellie short for Eloise 3 days ago

Hi Anke. Your post is an absolute "Higher Power Hit" for me today. I just joined because I am struggling a bit because my mum has advanced stage cancer - and I live in France and she lives in the UK - and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with trying to support her in this stage of her journey while I am unable to be physically with her in person. Anticipatory Grief. Complex Grief because we have a very difficult relationship, and a tricky family dynamic. Ellie

Daffodil 3 days ago

Hi Ellie,

Thank you so much for reaching out. I understand how difficult it is to support someone abroad and it is difficult to see them. I am sorry that you and your mum cannot be together and have a complex relationship. It sounds as if this experience feels very isolating for you.

I see that you have started thinking about the present grief you are experiencing. There is no right or wrong way to approach this, and it is important to be kind to yourself. Are there any friends who can support you and perhaps meet up for a coffee? Is there anything you can do for yourself today, even just for a few minutes, to process?

The distance to a loved one with a terminal illness can sometimes be bridged in some ways with technology and communication, both 'live' (phone, video call) and pre-prepared (an email or letter). Would that be something you would consider?

Also, if you would like to have further information about care, about life with a terminal illness, or about anything relating to the end of life, you will find the resources on the Marie Curie homepage useful. Having this information at hand to provide practical support can be comforting in itself.

I would really like to hear from others in the Community what has helped them in similar situations. Let's keep this conversation going.

Please take good care of yourself.

Anke, a member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team