Happiness Guilt

GemmaEnjoyLife 2 days ago

2 replies

Hi, I lost my dad 8 weeks ago after diagnosis of cancer 4 months prior. We managed to keep him at home to die. Thanks to Marie Curie. Lately I’ve been feeling happiness guilt. For dad who’s dead but also for mum who has lost her best friend & husband. She’s seem ok but I think of her at home alone in the house. She has plenty of callers etc but I can’t help feel extremely guilty. Don’t know why. I left work & cared for dad. I done my best for dad.

admin 2 days ago

Hello GemmaEnjoyLife,

Welcome and thank you for joining our Online Community. 

We’re sorry to read about the recent loss of your dad. We’re pleased we were able to help support dad to die at home. 

When someone’s caring role ends this can evoke many emotions. Some people may experience guilt when they feel happy, especially if they’re aware of how others are feeling around them. It’s important to remember that everyone experiences grief differently and that there is no right or wrong way to feel when someone dies. 

Have you spoken to anyone else about how you’re feeling?

We’re so pleased you’ve reached out to our Online Community - you’re welcome to speak to us as often as you like, and hopefully others who are in a similar position will share their experiences with you too. 

It sounds like you did your very best for dad 💛  

Thinking of you, 

Marie Curie Online Community Team 

LauraCW 2 hours ago

Hi GemmaEnjoyLife,

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad’s death, it sounds as though you did your very best for him.

Guilt is a very natural part of grief and it must be very difficult for you. 

You sound like a very caring person. It is great to hear that your Mum has regular company and I am sure she really appreciates your care and consideration.

As said above, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you feel it would help then we do have a Bereavement Support service which can be accessed via our Support Line.

We are always here at the Online Community to support in whichever way we can.

Thank you for getting in touch.

Be kind to yourself.

Laura, Marie Curie volunteer for the Online Community Team