Deathbed marriage

Grievingdd1945 6 months ago

1 reply

Hello, my Mum is in the final stages of life with lung cancer and brain mets. She has decided to marry her long term partner and is demanding that my sister and I ‘share her joy’. I am finding it exceptionally hard to do so as her partner has no children of his own and is persistently difficult and unkind to my sister and me.

I feel ashamed that I cannot fulfill my Mum’s wishes. She hasn’t been a very good parent but I have always tried to be forgiving and patient. I feel she is now asking too much from me.

Does anyone have similar experience of this? I will seek counselling, I should have done when she was first diagnosed over a year ago. Right now though I’m just dreadfully confused and hurt and am struggling to support my own family (two sons and husband, sister and her family)

admin 6 months ago

Edited by admin 6 months ago

Hello Grievingdd1945, 

Welcome to our Online Community.

We’re sorry to read about your mum’s diagnosis and all you’re going through. 

It sounds as though you and your sister are facing a significant decision and it's understandable that you find yourself confused given the circumstances.

We’re pleased that you’ve found our Online Community and are seeking support from others who may have had a similar experience. Hopefully others will see your message and share their own experience with you. We are however aware that our Community isn’t as active as we would like it to be at the moment, so you may also wish to post your message on other Online Community forums too. You would also be welcome to get in touch with our Support Line (0800 090 2309 or email support@mariecurie.org.uk) who may be able to share more information with you, including what counselling and other support that may be available to you and your family.

Take good care,

Bonnie

Marie Curie Online Community Team