Death of my mum

Netty78 5 years ago

4 replies

My mum passed away suddenly 8 months ago. I can't get my head around it still. I can't accept that I will never see her again. I really want to talk to her.

Support 5 years ago

Hello Netty78,

We are sorry to read about the sudden passing of your mum just 8 months ago and to hear how you are feeling.

A sense of unreality can be normal during the early stages of grief, feeling as though it isn’t real or that it can’t be happening can often be because of the shock we experience when we lose a loved one.

People sometimes tell us that continuing to talk to their loved one after they have died can be a comfort but accepting that you won’t see your mum again can be very difficult to come to terms with. It’s especially important during this time to be kind to yourself and take the time to look after yourself, we feature information about this that you can read here:  https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/looking-after-yourself

For many people, talking about how they’re feeling is part of taking care of themselves and talking aloud can give you the space to process how you’re feeling and to begin to understand what has happened. If you feel this would be helpful then please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us by calling Freephone 0800 090 2309 or by responding to this post.

We also feature some information about getting support after the loss of a loved one on our website which you may find beneficial to take a look at here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/bereavement-or-grief-counselling  

Take care,

Ross – Support Line Team

Karinich 5 years ago

Hi I also lost my mum 8 months ago to lung cancer and it was very sudden, I’m still totally heartbroken and suffering some really awful physical symptoms of grief, it’s so hard, I have a really good family network and we talk a lot but I’m still struggling to come to terms with losing my mum

Bonnie 5 years ago

Hello Karinich,

Thank you for joining our online community. We’re sorry to read about the sudden loss of your mum and how your grief is affecting you.  

During grief it can be common for our bodies to react to our feelings and for it to produce physical symptoms. We feature some information on our website about physical symptoms of grief that you may find helpful to take a look at here: https://bit.ly/2MbAR6x . If you are concerned about any of the symptoms that you are experiencing, you may wish to raise this with a healthcare professional such as your GP.

We often hear on the Support Line that talking about how you’re feeling can be beneficial. This can be an important part of processing and understanding our emotions during grief. Some people choose to do this with those they are close to such as family and friends, while other people prefer to talk to someone who they are unfamiliar with, such as ourselves. We are here to offer a listening ear if you ever need to talk on Freephone 0800 090 2309.

Coming to terms with losing your mum can be especially difficult. Hopefully others here on the community will share with you what has helped them after the loss of a parent.

Take care,

Bonnie - Support Line Team

Karinich 5 years ago

Thank you - yes I have raised the physical symptoms with my GP and I’ve been checked thoroughly it’s all been put down to the stress of losing my mum. I will have a look at the link also, thanks