Death of my husband of 50 years

lizziemint 8 years ago

3 replies

My husband died at the end of January following post op complications after an op for bladder cancer.It was quite sudden and we were all in shock initially.  I am coping with the practicalities, with help. but this dreadful feeling of sadness and being alone still overwhelms me when I am on my own at home. It comes in waves, sometimes a bit better and then really bad at times.  I do have 3 sons who are great, but they have their own grief to deal with and I think I need to talk about my emotions to someone not involved emotionally. Any suggestions please?

Clare 8 years ago

Hi lizziemint , we are so sorry to hear about the death of your husband. Grieving is painful and particularly when the loss is recent. It’s important to let yourself mourn as much and for as long as you need to. Talking with someone not emotionally involved can be very helpful. Some people find going to a group where they can talk to other bereaved people suits them, others prefer to talk one to one. You may wish to look at the support offered by Cruse Bereavement Care – www.cruse.org.uk   We are here for you on the community and if you feel it would help you to speak to someone please also contact us on our support line – 0800 090 2309.

r0dsalter 8 years ago

I have recently lost my lovely husband just as we were about to retire, I have two grown up children with their own families, I find it difficult to be with the grandchildren too much as emotions are hard to control. I live in an isolated spot, a small holding which would have been great in retirement. I find playing his music or having the tv on keeps my mind from wandering. I too have times of complete despair and times of anger. I just feel so sad about things he will miss.

you are fortunate to have your boys they are so protective and loving to their mums. You are not alone.

r 0dsalter

chris 8 years ago

chris

hi lizziemint

i entirely sympathise as I lost my wife Nicky after 40 years at the beginning of this month (may) i find going for walks with ramblers etc is starting to help also there are sometimes other groups such as carers groups which quite often can point you towards activities groups to suit you if you are not able or don't wish to go walking. i find it difficult and prefer the company of people that i did not know before helps as they don't know about you and your grief unless you tell them. i still get the dark moments but when i go walking with strangers i still grieve but manage not to feel down and this helps me.of course when i return to the empty house the feelings do overwhelm but if i have been out they are not as bad as if i stay at home i hope this suggestion is of help to you.

chris