Caring for the family around the afflicted

tomnbrown 1 year ago

3 replies

Hi there, i'm new to this forum. My partner's grandad has been diagnosed with MND a few months ago. Their family have come together to help care for him. Although I am an outsider to the family I still want to do my part, but I feel like my part is caring for my partner through this difficult time in the best ways I can.

When she is struggling, she closes off to deal with her thoughts on her own. I'm the opposite, I seek out help and come up with a plan of action. This difference in communication styles has made things difficult for me to approach without my intention of helping, being interpreted as overbearing. I'm doing my best to listen to her needs and accommodate. 

Does anyone have any advice they feel comfortable sharing from their experiences with how they helped care for their partners while their family member was going through MND?

Clare 1 year ago

Hello Tomnbrown,

Welcome to the Marie Curie community. We’re sorry to hear that your partner’s grandad has been diagnosed with MND. Knowing that a loved one has a terminal illness can understandably have a huge impact on family and as you have seen they may need support while they care for him.

It can be a natural instinct to want to do something practical to help and so it’s good that you recognise your partner’s ways of coping are quite different to your own. Listening, letting someone share what they are thinking without looking for a solution for them can be helpful. If someone isn’t ready to talk, taking a step back and accommodating the space they need to process their thoughts and feelings is also a way of being supportive to them.

What your partner needs from you may change over time and you may find some of the suggestions here useful - www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/helping-someone-cope/family-friends-help

We hope others here on the community will share with you what has helped them and our Support Line is also here for you all  - https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line

Take care,

Clare - Support Line Officer

tomnbrown 1 year ago

Unfortunately, me and my partner decided to part ways. Not related to this.

I'll check out the links on your message. I still want to figure out if there are ways I can still show some support to her with this.

Thank you 

Clare 1 year ago

We’re sorry to hear this and hope that you are both doing ok. It’s heart-warming that you wish to see if you can still be of some support. Maybe the links will provide you both with some suggestions when you are looking into this or she may have some other ideas of what would be helpful.

Take care

Clare - Support Line Officer