Losing a parent is one of the biggest sorrows you will go through in life...I'm sorry you are going through it at such a young age. When my dad died it was sudden so I was in shock for while. I was pregrant at the time so I tryed to keep strong for my baby and I needed to be there for my mother. When my baby was born I began to allow myself to feel the pain. I think it's important to flow with your own emotions and do what you feel is best for you not anybody else. It is easy to isolate yourself with grief but it doesn't help...try to surround yourself with as much support as possible. It going to be a tough road ahead... The pain doesn't go but it does get a little easier to cope in time and with help.