Losing my Husband

Spark365 7 years ago

4 replies

Hello,

Only lost my Husband Richie on Saturday 11th March aged 57.

We were told on 13th and 14th December 2016 that Richie had Brain and Lung Cancer with maybe 6 months to live.

We managed to have a lovely but quiet Xmas trying to get as many happy and positive memories as we could with the time we had left.

Had 6 radiotherapy sessions which did help but still less then 3 months after being told we had lost him to this horrible disease .

Richie went into St Barnabas Hospice to sort out his medication was hoping to keep him at home but was getting very tired trying to look after him on my own ,did have help from our GP , district nurse ,hospice at home and Marie curie care, just couldn't always get help at night which was getting me very tired as I was lucky to get 2 hrs sleep a night so relieved when we did get a place in the hospice as I knew I could get rest and that Richie would be well looked after.

He was in the hospice nearly 3 weeks and  all the staff from the doctors, nurses and the volunteers were really good to us nothing was too much trouble , it was a relief to our family to know how much care Richie was given and the support offered to us.

Sue Coleman

Support 7 years ago

Hello Sue

I am so sorry for your loss.  It was very moving to read that you and Richie had a quiet Christmas together, making special memories that will, I am sure, stay with you.

It sounds as though the hospice where Richie stayed showed great compassion and it was lovely to read  that he received such good care towards the end of his life.  Hospice care can be a great source of help and support for families during this difficult time.

Thank you for sharing your story with the community, talking about how you are feeling can be very helpful.  We just wanted to let you know that, as well as talking to people on the Marie Curie Online Community, you’re very welcome to  contact us on the Support Line too. We are open Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm, Saturdays, 11am to 5pm, and special days (Mother’s day, Father’s day, Christmas and Boxing Day). Our Freephone number is 0800 090 2309.

Best Wishes

Nadine

Marie Curie Support Line

Debs 7 years ago

Hello Sue, Just had to write a little note to you, as I saw yours was a new post So very sorry you have lost your husband. I lost my dad in December. Thinking of you, and understanding some of your grief.x

Spark365 7 years ago

Thank you for your kind thoughts it has been so hard to cope with looking after someone with Cancer , Richie had been ill for nearly 13 years with bio-polar /manic depression after seeing me being so I'll after having a hysterectomy and our daughter being badly bullied at school he just couldn't cope, had to get her out of school at 15 for her own safety,

Life was just starting to pick up when the big C popped up.

Richie was taken from us far to young, it has been 3 weeks yesterday since we lost him .

Having big problems with Richie's so called family , my sister in law was very rude to me the one time she came to supposing to help me and was as much help as a chocolate teapot, she tried to order Richie some medication and implied that I wasn't looking after him how I didn't slap her I don't know, as it had been me looking after all 3 of us mostly on my own all these years decided that we didn't need her near us .

She hasn't sent a card,text or letter showing any sympathy or consideration to wards me.

Richie's funeral is not until 11th April so asked his dad to keep her away from the funeral was told if she can't come then him and the rest of the family wont be coming so be it don't need or want them.

Just expected that after losing my husband the support and consideration would be towards me just hope they are very proud of themselves as now just think of them as rubbish .

Thanks

Debs 7 years ago

Hello Sue, You are not alone with being dissapointed with some family members.We have experienced our fair share since my dad died. Will be thinking of you on the 11th. The most important people will be there, that's all that matters.