How to deal with the feelings of seeing your loved one nearing the end of their lives on their deathbed?
Sorry English is not my first language and I would like to keep things private
Dear kaka,
Thank you so much for signing up for the Marie Curie Online Community and asking for support. It sounds like you are accompanying someone during the final phase of their life? It is natural to experience some, or many, feelings during this period. This is an exceptional time, which many people find emotionally difficult.
I understand that you would like to preserve your and your loved one’s privacy, so you do not need to answer these questions in the Community. But I am wondering whether you have some support at hand? This could be a friend or family member you feel comfortable talking to, or someone who can help with the practical tasks of looking after yourself as well as the person who is nearing the end of their life? Do you feel you can take breaks and do something for yourself, even if it is just a short walk or an early night? Many people in your situation find these moments very helpful.
I also wonder whether you would like to know more about what may happen in the final weeks and day’s of your loved one’s life? This is one thing that has helped me in the past. If that is something you would like to explore, there are resources on the Marie Curie website under the heading ‘What to expect at the end of life’ here: Information on the end of life.
Finally, I understand that English is not your first language. Would you perhaps like to talk to someone on the phone? If you call the Marie Curie Support Line, someone will be able to talk to you in one of more than 200 languages. The Support Line is open 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday, and 10am to 4pm Saturday to Sunday, and the free number to call is 0800 090 2309.
I also hope that others will share their experiences here. Please feel free to write again any time you like.
Take care,
Anke