Dear Community,
I recently saw the Bridget Jones 4: Mad About the Boy in the cinema, and was talking to friends about it afterwards. It turns out we had very different reactions to the film.
My friends were not aware before they watched the film that it deals, among many other things, with different forms of bereavement. They were rather taken aback and might not have chosen the film if they had known. By contrast, I found the treatment of death and bereavement very sensitive and insightful - as much as can be done in what is, still, a comedy for much of the film - and appreciated the topic being woven into the characters’ on-screen lives.
So I am wondering: do you seek out or appreciate intelligent depictions of loss and grief on the big screen (or the TV)? Are there any films or shows that have stuck with you long after you saw them?
Anke, a member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team
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Hi Anke,
I’m glad you liked the new Bridget Jones film. I’ve not seen it yet, but I’d like to.
I’ve recently watched Big Boys on Channel 4 which deals with themes of grief and bereavement. It was a hard watch at times - but I thought it portrayed the many different emotions of grief and loss really well, especially in a younger audience. And has stuck with me since watching it.
Hi jesstimp,
What a coincidence - I just started watching Big Boys, too! I’m taking it one episode at a time because it packs so much into each episode (so I understand what you mean when you say watching it was hard at times). But I find it very worthwhile, and also hilariously funny in parts. I am sure it will stay in my mind, too, for a long time.
Thank you for sharing this. And I hope you will get to see the new Bridget Jones film, soon.
Take good care,
Anke
Hi and thanks so much for this,
I haven’t watched Bridget Jones or Big Boys yet but will definitely aim to check them out after your recommendations.
In answer to your question Anke I think sometimes I do seek out certain films that I know are on the topic of death and grief, especially if I feel I need an emotional outlet at that time if that makes sense?
I am going to get my thinking cap on about things I have watched!
Many thanks,
Laura, Marie Curie volunteer for the Online Community
Dear Laura,
Thank you for your thoughts. The need to find films on death and grief as an emotional outlet at times makes sense to me (just as avoiding the topics during other times does).
I would like one TV show to my list: Monk, the crime show in which the title character, a detective, spends all 8 seasons trying to find out - alongside the regular cases - who murdered his wife. The thread of his grief weaves through the entire series and is remarkable (I have not seen this gentle persistence with the topic elsewhere).
I look forward to hearing your recommendations, Laura, if anything comes to mind.
Best wishes,
Anke
I watched His Three Daughters (film) on Netflix last year and it stuck with me. It’s described as a Drama/Comedy, and I didn’t read the description so I very stupidly thought it’d be a funny Sunday watch!
It covers end of life care, death, anticipatory grief and grief. But it also deals with the different ways people handle these, difficult family relationships, and how people handle their different priorities and ideas in tense and deeply difficult situations.
It’s a brilliant watch and I felt it presented these topics in a really raw and real way. It also has some beautifully wholesome and funny moments - so it’s definitely a comedy, just not the comedy I was expecting!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with His Three Daughters, NadiaEG!
Thank you also for explaining the complexity of the topics covered. Yours is perhaps similar to the reaction Laura and I had to the series Big Boys, and it is good to know that there are lighter and wholesome moments in His Three Daughters that balance out the film.
Many thanks again,
Anke
Thank you so much for creating this thread and starting a conversation around grief on screen, Anke.
I recently went to the cinema to see Bridget Jones too. Like your friends, I was also not sure what to expect.
Watching someone navigate life without their loved one is never easy, but I think they managed to do so in such a realistic and sensitive way.
I’m going to watch some of the other shows that have been mentioned next.
Thank you again Anke, and I look forward to hearing what other members of our Online Community are watching too
Thanks for sharing Anke. I watched Bridget Jones just because I knew that it dealt with themes of grief - not even realising that there’d been two films in between since I watched the first one!
You mentioned that your friends may not have watched if they had known, which is an interesting thought… for some, I suppose it could be quite triggering and an unexpected way to be confronted with your grief in a public setting but equally, I think it’s a good way to get people thinking and talking about grief when they may try to avoid what some people find quite an awkward topic.
I’ll keep an eye out for other suggestions on this thread to watch.
Thank you for your thoughts, Angharad! I agree that a film or programme can be a great way to start a conversation, with oneself or with others, about grief.
I must say that in the cinema, I was not the only one shedding some tears in some moments - and laughing out loud in others. Even going to the cinema alone can make me aware that I am part of a community where others have also had experiences of loss. I found it strangely comforting.
Also, I have just thought of a film that really impressed me in the way it went through the rollercoaster of emotions that can come with complex bereavement: Avanti (1972), a film by Billy Wilder featuring Jack Lemmon and Juliet Mills as a man who tries to collect his father’s body from Italy, and the woman whose mother was - unbeknownst to the son - the father’s lover, also recently deceased (no plot spoilers). I do not think I would have appreciated the film if I had seen it ‘just’ as a comedy, before I lost my father. The plot is funny, absurd, sad, angry, detached, and life-affirming at times, and the characters are (for me) very relatable, although I have not had any of the specifics of their experiences.
I look forward to more recommendations from others - this thread will be open for additions.
I find that call the midwife, deals with so many aspects of grief and loss but at the same time has so much content that is uplifting too.
What a wonderful addition to the list, Burnsie66! Call the Midwife covers all of life, from the first breath to the last and beyond, and from what I have seen, with much kindness and humanity. It sounds like it has given you some solace, too.
Thank you very much for contributing to this thread.
Hi Daffodil, I lost my husband eight months ago, after 50 years of marriage, I was totally numb for so long, I streamed the full series of call the midwife, sometimes being lost in my own thoughts and memories but I found it comforting at times and so moving and poignant, I cried often but it did help me through the darkest days. It’s not any easier now dealing with my loss but I am learning to accept it.
Hello again Burnsie66,
I am so sorry to hear that you lost your husband, after having enjoyed such a long marriage together. It is understandable that you were numb for some time (and perhaps still are at times), and it sounds like watching Call the Midwife was both cathartic and comforting for you in the first months of grief. Thank you for sharing this with the community - it may be valuable for others in similar situations to hear about your experience.
Just to let you know that the Marie Curie support line and chat are available in case you would like to talk to someone in darker moments. The details and opening hours are listed on the main website: www.MarieCurie.org.uk.
Thank you again, take good care,
Anke, a member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team
Hi Burnsie66, So sorry to hear about your husbands death. It must be such a huge loss. I am a huge fan of Call The Midwife and have watched it since the beginning. You are so right it covers loss, grief and so many other aspects of the human experience and as Anke says often shows the kindness that exists in people too. I have often been brought to tears by the storylines and characters journeys. Thank you so much for sharing this. As Anke says there is a lot of support available through the Marie Curie support line such as our Bereavement Support service so please do get in touch with them if you need to. We are also here in this space to listen and provide support. Thanks again and take care, Laura, Marie Curie volunteer for the Online Community Team