Hi. I have been diagnosed with advanced bladder cancer and now have either abscesses or infected necrotic cancer in my liver. Antibiotics have not worked and 2 weeks ago, I was moved to a hospice and given weeks rather than months to live. I feel weirdly at calm with this. I’ve been through so much pain and I’m ready for peace now. My thoughts are though, that I don’t ‘feel’ I only have possibly weeks to live. I have no pain, no discomfort anymore (not now I’m in the hospice. I was very uncomfortable in hospital). I’m taking steroids which has dramatically improved my motivation, appetite, mood. I feel almost ‘good’. So how can I be near death? Could the medication really be that good at masking all the horrible things that are going on inside my body? I don’t know how exactly this is going to kill me or when it will be and this is making me feel quite apprehensive. Has anyone else experienced this themselves or from a loved one? I really would appreciate your thoughts as I really don’t feel like I’m going to physically die, even though I’ve been told I am.
Hello , welcome to the Marie Curie community . We are sorry that you have cancer and that you were uncomfortable in hospital .
A lot of people feel a sense of peace and calm when they go into a hospice and I have seen this myself whilst working as a nurse at Marie Curie . It is possible to be pain free and feel alright when you are at the end of your life .
It is positive to read that your medication is managing your symptoms and that you are not experiencing any pain. Please do approach the staff that are caring your with any specific questions you have about how end of life may be. Or if that is difficult you may find these videos helpful : https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect
Please do continue to share with us how you are feeling and what you are thinking . This can be your safe space to voice these thoughts.
Best wishes Penny
Thank you so much for that Penny.
That is alright , we are here for you .
If you ever need to talk or ask any questions you can do so on here or if you prefer you can phone the Support line on 0800 090 2309 . Take care