In 2015, my life changed in a way I never expected. I was heavily pregnant with my first child while my mum was losing her battle with cancer. She tried to protect me from how bad things were, but six days before my due date we were told she didn’t have long left. She passed away peacefully five days before my son was born.
I went into labour still in shock and deep grief. Complications meant I needed an emergency C‑section under general anaesthetic, and when I woke up, my baby wasn’t with me. He had been taken to special care to help with his breathing. Later we learned he’d had a seizure overnight and needed scans, tests, and monitoring. All of this happened while I was trying to process losing my mum and becoming a mother at the same time. It was an overwhelming mix of fear, heartbreak, and love.
Thankfully, my son recovered and has grown into a wonderful boy. Nearly twelve years on, the pain of losing my mum is still there, but it has softened. I see her in the way I parent, in the home I’ve built, and in the strength I found when I thought I had none left. She never got to meet him, but she is everywhere in our lives. Her love shaped me, and through me, it shapes him too.
Grief doesn’t disappear — it changes. It becomes something you learn to carry. I’m sharing this in case someone else is navigating loss while trying to move forward. You’re not alone, and it’s okay if healing takes time.