My Grandad passed away just over a week ago now after shock diagnosis of cancer. He left us 3 weeks later. One minute i’m sad, one minute im happy but I feel like I shouldn’t be happy and feel guilty each time I am. I know everyone manages grief differently but is this normal?
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Dear Morgan,
We are so sorry to hear that your granddad passed away recently. Thank you so much for reaching out here.
Grief can be surprising in many ways, as it is not possible to tell in advance how you will feel when someone dies. Having different - and conflicting or confusing - feelings and emotions is normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel. I have often heard others describe these emotions as a rollercoaster, and experienced this myself after my dad had a shock diagnosis of cancer that resulted in his death only a few weeks later..
What helped me in the run-up to the funeral was getting involved with the arrangements in my own way, and taking lots of time to walk and ‘sit’ with my feelings. I was also able to reach out to some friends who would spend some time talking - not always about what happened, but often just spending time with me. Is there anything you feel you could do to be kind to yourself at this time?
If you think you would like to explore some of the services that Marie Curie has to offer - talking to someone on the phone or by email, getting bereavement support, or reading articles or listen to podcasts on grief - you can explore the options on the Marie Curie website: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk. I hope other members of the Community will feel comfortable to tell you a little about their experiences of grief, too. And please feel free to write here again any time.
Take good care,
Anke
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