Chemo no longer working.. Questions for oncologist
Hi all. It’s been a, while.
Close friend with 3 cancers now, major surgeries, dire mental health issues (in abeyance) has now been informed that the chemo is not working and that growths are growing. This is now lymphatic cancer on top of the 2 others which chemo helped with somewhat but one thing has lead to another in fairly short time.
The cancer is certainly having its effect now. They are rather a, shadow.
I’m going to their next oncology appt with them.
Has anyone got any suggestions of which questions to ask (eg what next) and how. My friend has been unable to accept all her diagnoses and so has, great difficulty asking for help and also contemplating what’s next. She’s also has less capacity to think about much.. Energy very low. Lots of complications..
My name is Marla; I am a nurse on the Information and Support Line for Marie Curie. I am sorry to hear your friend is going through such an awful time and to now have been told the chemotherapy is not working.
It must be incredibly difficult for you, as her friend to see her going through this. You say your friend has been unable to accept all her diagnosis’s and as a result has great difficulty with asking for support and what happens next. I have included a link below about being in denial as you may find this a helpful guide.
Whilst there is clearly no mention of a terminal diagnosis in your post, I have added in some links related to terminal illness that talk about some of the issues you are observing and may be helpful to you.
If your friend has any access to resources for complimentary therapies such as reflexology, massage, hypnotherapy etc. then she may find this helps with her emotional wellbeing. Has your friend ever been referred to a clinical psychologist? If not, she could talk to her oncologist or GP about a referral. If they feel it is appropriate she may find this helps with the difficulties she has emotionally. I have also included a link for a mental health support network that may be useful.
Having conversations that are difficult can be challenging, however, they can be crucial to meeting the needs and wishes of our loved ones as things change and/or progress. Below I have attached a link about Advanced Care Planning (ACP) which you may find useful in guiding these conversations.
With regards to ‘what to ask’ at the oncology appointment, if they are saying your friend’s current treatment is not working then asking if there are alternative treatment options available (if there are any). Asking the ‘what happens now’ is a sensible question to ask at any point, particularly if there is a change in the treatment/care plan. This will ensure you both have a clear understanding of the plan. Of course, all of this will be with your friends consent to share the information with you and allow you to ask questions. I hope you have found this response helpful; you can also telephone the Information and Support Line for a safe space to talk or ask questions on 0800 090 2309. Take care.
We’re sorry to read about your friend’s diagnosis.
It’s completely understandable that you want to ask questions, and I’m pleased you found our Online Community and have asked for suggestions. I hope Marla’s response has helped you and your friend feel a little more prepared for the appointment. Hopefully other members of our Online Community will share questions they found useful too.
Some people find it helpful to take notes during the appointment, as there can be a lot of information to take in. Please remember that the healthcare team are there to support you, so if anything is unclear, you can always ask again. You’re also very welcome to speak with Marla through our Support Line on 0800 090 2309 if you would like to discuss anything before or after the appointment.
We hope the appointment goes as well as it can do.