People say im sorry for your loss. I didnt misplace or lose my mum,cancer stole her from me!!!@
So it took 22 months from start until finish .she was so brave ,so strong . I cared i bathed her , i dried her tears .But cancer still won. I hate cancer , i hate what it does .Cancer has no morals it isnt polite and it is a thief!!!
Hi Ella,
Coming to terms with the death of a loved one can be such an emotional rollercoaster. Grief is a natural response and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is completely normal to feel intense anger and pain – this can be directed at the illness, people or places involved with their care. We have lots of information on grief here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/grieving-your-way. If you would like to talk about how you are feeling please contact the Support Line on 0800 090 2309.
Brigette
Hi Ella Sorry to hear about your mum. My mam passed away in January from cancer and I’m really finding it hard at the moment to deal with my emotions. I’ve just joined up and read your post hope you don’t mind my message.
Hi jewels i can sympathise hun i felt quite loney after losing my mum.i would like to say it gets easier but it doesnt i think that the grief is just settling in and has become part of me. Im not sure if the change in me is positive. If you need someon to talk too , rant anything feel free to message me hun .you dont have to be alone. X
Hi Ella, thanks for your message back. It’s a bit more reassuring that what I’m feeling is sort of nomal. The last two weeks have been hard as I’ve felt so lonely. It’s hard to talk to family and friends, so I don’t. I try to keep positive so that’s why I tried this site.I feel like I’m just drifing though the days at the moment x
Hun everything your feeling is normal and grief is individual. I stayed positive painted a smile on and denied my grief. It caught up with me ,what your feeling is what you need to feel , so give yourself time and space either alone or with someone and let loose. Shout scream cry you get a sense of relief at taking the wall and pretense down. The worst feeling is being lonley in a crowd full of people, because the one person who understood you is not there. I bottled my grief and anger for too long and ended up exploding over spilling milk. So give yourself a break we are all human . I didnt let myself live i was on auto pilot ,it seemed almost wrong to be normal. But i know that my mum would have kicked me in the behind lol .im here you can private message on here to .feel free anytime hun your not alone .xxx
chris
hello Ella to both yourself and Jewels. i agree with you about cancer stealing people from you i have also lost someone this month. and at the moment it is very raw (see my post}. i get the overwhelming feeling of loneliness when at home so i also hate Cancer. i have decided to fight back and help by raising money for all the cancer charities i can especially the Marie Curie Charity. who were so good with helping us to try to live whilst she was dying. i also try like jewels to stay positive but keep wondering should i have done his etc. i find that going for walks which we used to enjoy together in her memory and talking to her helps although i know she’s gone. She was a very strong person and fought for nearly three years but cancer still won. i also hate cancer and find it hard to deal with the intense emotions so tend to go out with walking groups that don’t know me and this also helps as i can just say if asked my wife died from cancer but lets just enjoy the walk and still talk to her silently inside my head as she used to love walking and she would have enjoyed the views with me if she was still here. i may sound as though i am mad but this does help me to remember who she was before cancer took her earlier than her time
Hi I can totally relate x I lost my precious mum 2 weeks ago after a prognosis of 15 months she lived 24 but the last two horrendous she wanted to be cared for at home from the start x I saw Bowel and bladder cancer in all it’s raw form and did all the personal care myself until we had to get external help x I hate the illness and what it took from her and me and my family x I have awful flashbacks x my mum had to go but she didn’t want to go x I’m so so sorry for your horrendous loss x much love and empathy xxx
Hi Andreana,
I am sorry to read about the recent death of your mum and the awful flashbacks that you have been experiencing. Grieving is a very personal thing and is totally unique for each person but many people tell us that in the early stages it feels very raw and that their memories are very much focused on the recent past and what they experienced with their loved one. Often we are told that talking helps and hopefully others here on the community will be able to share their experiences with you. However if ever you need a listening ear please remember that our Support Line is here to listen and provide emotional support.
Take care,
Brigette, Marie Curie Support Line Officer.