I am new to this site but thought might help. I lost my mum in may this year I nursed her at home ( we did live together) for many months and in between hospice stays of which there was 2 and on the 2nd vist she passes away. I stayed with her 24/7 at the hospice for4 weeks we were peas in a pod so very close such a special bond a very precious bond my mum said to me. At first I think must of been in shock and denial but now as it has gone on its really starting to hit home that she isn't coming back and that pains me beyond words I feel so very low sad depressed angry I just don't see a world or life without her it's too painfull and every day every hour is such a struggle I feel so tired exhausted. The pain is getting me so much the memorys of her espeicially the last month of seeing her deteriote 24/7 was just gutting the person you love most in the world suffering as she did so very thin and in pain. I told her I wish it was me mum I wish I could take your place so you don't have to suffer. And I really wish I could have I would of in a heartbeat rather than her suffer. Now I'm just so alone I have no close family or children I feel kicked in the heart and thrown in a painfull corner in the dark alone and scared. Does any one else feel so low?
Love and hugs to anyone going through grief xxlife can be so very unfair and cruel !!