• Posts: 4
    04/08/2016  19:46

    Hello everyone,

    I am new to this site but thought might help. I lost my mum in may this year I nursed her at home ( we did live together) for many months and in between hospice stays of which there was 2 and on the 2nd vist she passes away. I stayed with her 24/7 at the hospice for4 weeks we were peas in a pod so very close such a special bond a very precious bond my mum said to me. At first I think must of been in shock and denial but now as it has gone on its really starting to hit home that she isn't coming back and that pains me beyond words I feel so very low sad depressed angry I just don't see a world or life without her it's too painfull and every day every hour is such a struggle I feel so tired exhausted. The pain is getting me so much the memorys of her espeicially the last month of seeing her deteriote 24/7 was just gutting the person you love most in the world suffering as she did so very thin and in pain. I told her I wish it was me mum I wish I could take your place so you don't have to suffer. And I really wish I could have I would of in a heartbeat rather than her suffer. Now I'm just so alone I have no close family or children I feel kicked in the heart and thrown in a painfull corner in the dark alone and scared. Does any one else feel so low?

    Love and hugs to anyone going through grief xxlife can be so very unfair and cruel !! 

  • Posts: 41
    05/08/2016  15:03

    Hi Tray,


    I am so sorry to read of the loss of your mum. Losing somebody close affects everyone differently and it is completely normal to feel physical pain. We have lots of information on coping with grief and loss on our website which you may find it helpful to read: Many people tell us that it helps them to talk and you are more than welcome to ring our Support Line on 0800 090 2309.

    I would suggest that it would be good to speak to your GP and to ask for a referral to counselling or you could contact Cruse Bereavement Care.



  • Posts: 7
    06/08/2016  16:52

    Hi Tray, I am feeling similar emotions to you. I lost my partner on 12 July this year. It was very quick as we only had the diagnosis 3 weeks before she died. So many emotions to deal with, just the word cancer was enough and no time to consider that then her kidneys failed, within 3 days she was unresponsive and then passed away. I've been in a limbo state for a while, then of course arranging her funeral, that went as I hoped a lovely tribute to her. Now it back to reality for everyone, but I can't get my head round it all. Our home is full of her but I'm so alone. Just miss her so much and can't believe she's not going to call me or walk through the door. Kate

  • Posts: 4
    06/08/2016  18:53

    Hi Kate, 

    So sorry for the loss of your partner and all so suddenly my heart goes out to you. I will keep in short as I've tried 3 times replying to you and once I've wrote about half the box it all disappersso maybe fault on site?? I just wanted you to know thinking of you. Like you I'm heartbroken and feel very alone. Keep in touch.

    Thoughts hug sent xx

    Tray xx

  • Posts: 7
    06/08/2016  19:05

    Hi Tray, Thank you. Not sure if the website is playing up. I don't know if it's just this area or the site as a whole but there doesn't seem much activity here. Maybe that's a good thing, but I registered as I felt I wanted to connect with others who have had this awful experience of losing a loved one and the feelings we are left with. I've commented on a couple of threads but not had much back. I hoped maybe this would help, or failing that I would probably look into counselling in some way. This I thought was a little more user friendly in the fact I can reply when I can. I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I actually lost my mum just over 2 years ago. Renal failure. It was so sad to see her deteriorate, the last week of her life she was pretty much unresponsive. We were so very close, had more than a mother/daughter connection. So when my partner suddenly became poorly and unresponsive and the consultant said her kidneys had failed it all came back to me. My 2 most important, most loved people to me lost in 2 years. For a moment my thoughts were 'what have I done to deserve this?' so cruel to take them both from me. I'd not got over losing mum, and now my partner. It is so unfair. Thank you for your thoughts. You are by no means alone. Kate x