• Posts: 2
    20/11/2016  16:55

    Hello I am struggling with the loss of my partner as it was so unexpected. In July he went through on op for stomach cancer had lots of setbacks during the next three weeks up to being discharged. He came home 15th August full of hope for the future and for five days seemed to be making progress all he it hard work as he was constantly anxious but not knowing why so sleep deprivation was kicking in for both of us. Round about his fifth day he started with fuzzy head pains in his head neck shoulders and starting vomiting over the weekend. A week after coming home he had his appointment with the team and was told the stomach cancer was advanced and off we went home waiting for an appointment for chemotherapy. The headaches went worse and he finished up in a and e for a night given oral paracetamol and fluids sent home. I rang McMillan team emailed The Team from MRI rang Dr Ketshaws all for help as I felt like I was drowning not be able to help barry but no one seemed to want to know. We carried on and his heads balance and pain got worse to the point that he could no longer support himself to sit or walk even with a walking frame. I called the dr three times and each time was told this is normal recovery after such a big op. It now was so bad I called an ambulance and he was admitted again. After bloods and a lumbar puncture they thought he may have viral meningitis and started with antibiotics. I have never seen such a dramatic change in a person he was hallucinating delusional manis angry you name it we went through it. The Drs didn't seem to know what was going on and left him to us really. Two weeks later I went in and something had changed over night he was leaving us I just knew it but no idea why. The day after I get told to bring family in and we did in fact lose him that day. Now after a post-mortem and weeks of waiting we laid him to rest but his post-mortem is far from anything connected with cancer it says bronchial pneumonia leading to heart attack. Barry had never suffered with his heart. Did the bad care precipitate in causing this ? I have had a chat with our own dr who read out his notes fro MRI which says the cancer was still in his glands but would be referred for palliative chemotherapy!!!! Why am I only just finding this out and why did we get no help. I'm absolutely beside myself as I feel he has been so badly let down by the NHS

  • Posts: 41
    23/11/2016  16:01

    Hi Eileenalana,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your partner’s death. Grieving for a loved one is painful and can be especially so when the loss was unexpected and so recent. It’s clear that you have lots of unanswered questions and concerns about the care that Barry received. You say you have spoken to your GP, have you had the opportunity to talk to the hospital consultants? Throughout the uk there are different organisations that may be able to advise you on how to get the answers you are seeking. In England for example it would be the patient advice and liaison service (PALS), you can read more about this here - . You may also want to look at

    If you would like to talk about things in more detail please call our Free phone Support Line on 0800 090 2309, or drop us a line via Web Chat:

    Best Wishes

    Claire (Marie Curie Support Line) 

  • Posts: 2
    23/11/2016  16:53

    I have spoken with PALS who suggested I fill a complaint in and take it from there which I am doing at the moment. I emailed health watch twice but for some reason have had no reply. Have emailed the coroners assistant twice to ask what I can do but no response there either which seems to have been the run of things all along

  • Posts: 41
    25/11/2016  10:58

    I hope by going through PALS you get the answers you need. Patient Opinion is separate to Health Watch so you may want to try them, I can’t guarantee what would come of it but the organisations that sign up with them receive an alert when someone comments about their service.

    This is such an emotional time for you, we’re at the end of a phone if you need us.